Register: tu vs Lei

Two ways to say 'you': Italian has two words for *you in the singular. tu is the informal you — for friends, family, classmates and people your own age. Lei is the formal you — a mark of respect for strangers, older people, teachers, shop staff and anyone in a professional setting. Choosing the right one is called il registro (register), and it is a Criterion C* decision the examiner watches for.

il registro

register — how formal or informal your language is

tu (informale)

the informal 'you' — friends, family, peers

Lei (formale)

the formal courtesy 'you' — strangers, elders, professional contacts (capitalised)

dare del tu

to address someone as 'tu' (informally)

dare del Lei

to address someone as 'Lei' (formally)

voi

you (plural) — for more than one person, in both registers

Why it carries the marks: Register is not just politeness — it is assessed. A formal letter written with tu, or an informal message full of Lei, loses marks under Criterion C (Conceptual understanding), and the mismatched verb endings and pronouns cost you Criterion A (Language) too. Decide the register first, then keep it consistent to the last line.

Match everything to tu or Lei: The trick is that Lei borrows the *she* forms. When you address someone as Lei, the verb goes into the 3rd-person singular (the same form as lui/lei), and the pronouns and possessives switch too: ti → La/Le, tuo/tua → Suo/Sua. So «Come stai? Ti do il tuo libro» (tu) becomes «Come sta? Le do il Suo libro» (Lei). In writing, the courtesy forms are often capitalised (Lei, La, Le, Suo).

The verb gives you away: The single clearest signal of register is the verb ending. tu takes the 2nd-person singular («parli, hai, puoi»); Lei takes the 3rd-person singular («parla, ha, può») — the exact same form as he/she. If you ever mix «tu parla» or «Lei parli», the reader hears the wrong register at once.

Read the audience, then choose: Register is chosen by who you are writing or speaking to. A blog for classmates, a text to a friend or a chat with a peer → tu. A formal letter, an email to a company, a message to a teacher or an interview with an adult stranger → Lei. In an exam the task tells you the audience — spot it in the first line and lock the register before you write a word.

When in doubt, use Lei: If you are not sure, start with Lei: over-politeness is rarely wrong, while wrongly using tu with a stranger can sound rude. Wait for the other person to say «Diamoci del tu» («let's use tu») before you switch. In writing, the text type usually decides it: a lettera formale is Lei, a blog or an email a un amico is tu.

The same email, two registers: Here is one short email written twice — once informally (tu) and once formally (Lei) — line by line. Watch the verb, the pronoun and the possessive change together each time. Tap 🔊 to hear it, or Mostra traduzione for the English.

Keep it consistent: The commonest slip is mixing the two: a formal opening «Gentile Professore» followed by an informal «come stai?». Once you choose Lei, keep every verb in the 3rd person and every pronoun/possessive in the courtesy form to the very end — greetings included («Cordiali saluti», not «A presto»).

The slips to watch for: Three mistakes dominate register. 1. Mixing tu and Lei in the same text (a formal «Gentile…» then «come stai?»). 2. Right pronoun, wrong verb — «Lei parli» instead of «Lei parla». 3. Forgetting the possessive — writing «il tuo aiuto» when you have chosen Lei (it must be «il Suo aiuto»). Compare the correct version with the typical mistake and the fix is obvious.

One question fixes it: tu or Lei?: Before each sentence, ask one question — am I on tu or Lei? — and make the verb, the pronoun and the possessive all agree with the answer. For Lei: verb in the 3rd person, pronoun La/Le, possessive Suo/Sua. Re-read your text once at the end just to check nothing slipped back to tu.