In a nutshell: Write the HL essay in a formal, precise, academic register: critical vocabulary (‘conveys’, ‘juxtaposes’, ‘evokes’), clear complex sentences, and no casual or vague language (‘a lot’, ‘really good’, ‘kind of’).
How you write is a quarter of the marks — Criterion D rewards precise, formal, academic expression.
Swap casual phrasing for critical vocabulary: not ‘the writer does a lot of clever stuff with words’ but ‘the writer's precise diction and controlled syntax…’. Use the language of criticism, keep the register formal (no ‘gonna’, no ‘I reckon’), and be exact. Precise, not pompous — the right word, not the longest.
The academic register
Critical vocabulary
‘conveys’, ‘evokes’, ‘juxtaposes’, ‘undercuts’, ‘foregrounds’ — the language of analysis.
Formal, not casual
No ‘a lot’, ‘really’, ‘stuff’, ‘gonna’, ‘I reckon’ — measured, impersonal phrasing.
Precise, not vague
Name the exact effect (‘melancholy’, ‘irony’), never ‘interesting’ or ‘good’.
Clear, controlled sentences
Complex where needed, but always clear — precise, not pompous.
The key move: Write formally and precisely: critical vocabulary + exact effects + clear, controlled sentences — and cut casual or vague phrasing.
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Why it matters in the exam: Criterion D (language) is worth a quarter of the HL-essay marks and rewards ‘effective, precise’ and ‘appropriate’ academic expression. A formal, precise register also makes your argument sound authoritative; casual or vague language undercuts even strong analysis.
Rewrite this in academic register: ‘The writer does loads of clever stuff with words to make it really sad and kind of creepy, which is good.’
Model answer plan
See the mark-by-mark plan — for / against / judgement, with marking guidance — in study mode.
Watch out: Don't confuse ‘academic’ with ‘long-winded’. Precise, not pompous — use the exact word, not the longest. But do cut all casual phrasing (‘a lot’, ‘really’, ‘stuff’) and vague words (‘interesting’, ‘good’).